Lady Guacamole

Sometimes imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Other times it’s someone’s way of saying something is so bad, you’ve just got to make fun of it.

And occasionally it makes fun of itself.

This is the second. By the way, if anyone out there has either a reasonable popstar voice, or a copy of Autotune, I will totally make a MIDI of the song and put it on YouTube… it’s worth at least a million hits.

And in case the reader is unaware of this particular pop-piece, a) I am jealous, and b) it’s Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro,” altered so that even I could potentially enjoy it. I fear that actually mentioning Lady Gaga by name in this blog (see? I just did it again!) might get me some Google traffic… then again, said visitors will be rather disappointed.

Lady Guacamole – Filibertos

Spoken:
I know that they are cheap
And I know that you have coupons
But I just can’t believe I’m desperate enough for
Filibertos

He’s got both eyes
On the menu
Cashier won’t look at you (won’t look at you)
She texts something
A su novio
Then she says something that sounds like
“Qué for you?”

I can’t understand the staff
Straight from Mexico
(Olé!)
I’m next in line I’ve gotta choose
Nothing to lose

The combo plate! (The combo plate!)
Filibertos!
They’re open late (They’re open late)
Menudo
Don’t wanna drink
Don’t touch the stuff
Just roll my burrito and rush
The combo plates
All taste the same
Asado

Filibertos, Filibertos
Fili-fili-bertos, Fili-filabertos

Spoken:
Ouch!
Oh, what have I done?
filibertos
What have I done!

Chips are golden
Their cheese is tasty
But their beef tastes like a cat
(Just like a cat)
And are those flames that
Shoot from his nostrils…
Now he’s gotta chug horchata
To cool the burn

Two beef tacos, melted cheese
Hot like Tobasco
Burro…
Eyes are burning, tongue is bruised
I’m feeling loose

The combo plate! (The combo plate!)
Filibertos!
They’re open late (They’re open late)
Chorizo
Next to the beans,
What’s in the rice?
Is that a cigarette? Yikes!
I’m so ashamed, I ever came
Pendejo

Filibertos, Filibertos
Fili-fili-bertos, Fili-filabertos

The end of me (The end of me)
Filibertos
My eyes are glazed, Don’t know my name
(Qué me llamo…)
What will they make, Of my remains?
(Adobada)
I can’t get up, I’m giving up
(Muriendo)

The combo plate! (The combo plate!)
Filibertos!
They’re open late (They’re open late)
Menudo
Don’t wanna drink
Don’t touch the stuff
Just roll my burrito and rush
The combo plates
All taste the same
Asado

Filibertos, Filibertos

Fili-filibertos, Fili-filibertos

    • Jennifer Carroll
    • July 2nd, 2010

    I want to hear you actually sing it! And Barry and I really like Filibertos…but Rolandos is even better! Like Burrito Bandito a lot too.

    • Angela Fischer
    • July 2nd, 2010

    Be jealous, I never heard of this. Did a you tube search so I could follow along. Pretty funny stuff. The video that accompanies this song…quite disturbing. Did Weird Al do this…I’d rather see his video if he did.

  1. Clarification: These lyrics are all mine. I’d be lying if I said Weird Al wasn’t an inspiration though.

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