7 Obsolete Tech Terms That We’re Stuck With (For Now)

I’m a little embarrassed in that I don’t quite know what this post is about. Or rather, I lack a succinct way to describe it. It involves technology, and terms we are trapped into using that no longer make sense, or never did. Not that I’m against their use, but I’d also love to see new terms be adopted to take their place. Anyway:

Rewind: In decades past, video and audio entertainment was distributed in the form of plastic cartridges, wherein content was contained on spools of magnetic tape. To cut the pretense, this is about VHS and cassette tapes. The process of rewinding a recently-played tape was lengthy, noisy, and in some cases actually needed a standalone device (or a pencil). It was a process so tenuously avoided that video rental proprietors had to resort to rhyming pleas and threats of fines to stimulate their customers do it.


I made product demos and everything, but somehow, it never caught on…

Fast forward to today (see what I did there?), and the term persists in a metaphorical sense. The simplest way to request a return to a previous point in a video or audio selection is to “rewind” it. The persistence of the universal “Rewind” (<<) and “Fast Forward” (>>) symbols, faithfully on either side of the still-relevant Pause (| |) button encourages the continuation of the current vocabulary, but already simpler, more accurate requests to “skip back” or “go back” are creeping into the lexicon (my personal vote is for “track back,” by the way).

But fans of rewind, fear not… as long as sewing enthusiasts (and cats) need balls of yarn, there will always be some analog item that needs rewinding.

Ring (verb): Bells, alarms, and telephones do it. There are other terms that can be applied to the former two: alarms can “buzz,” bells can “jingle,” both can “sound.” Alarms can oxymoronically “go on” and “go off.” But what can a telephone do to indicate an incoming call, but ring? It is such a natural term to use that a native English speaker will probably not even hear the verb “ring” as metaphorically relating to the literal noun from of a metal ring, but it is there. To witness it for yourself, drop a metal ring (use a thick wedding band for best results) on a hard surface. Riiiiinnnnnng.

Now that phones, use digital soundbytes in order to sound, and lack a physical “ringer,” the term has become completely symbolic. Interestingly, the creation of words like “ringtone” ensure that the metaphor will survive well into the foreseeable future.

Scroll: As a method for keeping lengthy records, scrolls were a significant step up from chiselled tablets, but started to go out of fashion as soon as bound books became economically feasible. Yet, as with “ring”, this common action used to move through a digital document lacks any other generally-accepted term. As the tablet form factor gains popularity over the more traditional desktop and laptop, the method of scrolling is taking on even more resemblance to its antiquated origins: we need to actually move our fingers, hands and forearms now.

If a passage is long enough that it goes off the bottom or side of a display screen (that notion itself is symbolic—there is nothing “off the edge” of a screen), how do you get there? Perhaps one could “page down” or “arrow down,” but those terms are awkward, and lose all meaning on a tablet.

One term that may start to encroach on scroll is “swipe, though its staying power has yet to be determined.

Phone: Denotatively, this word has always just been a colloquialism for telephone. Connotatively, the image implied by the word “phone” shifts to represent the most popular form factor, and other types of phones must be specified. In the last 10-15 years, one would assume “phone” referred to a landed, touch-tone telephone; a reference to a cellular/mobile phone would be specified. Now, the word is in transition, where cellular phone is becoming the default assumption), and hard-wired phones have become “land-lines.” Even before that transition finished, we now verbally differentiate “smart phones” from other types of cellular phones.

Icon: The word’s classical definition denotes an image of Christ, or of a saint, but the only definition even somewhat commonly-used in English is to describe a pictorial representation of a symbolic link to a file or program… and even then, most people only say it when one goes missing!

Impressive, for a word alternatively defined as “an object of uncritical devotion.” [Merriam-Webster].


Jesus Saves (his shortcuts to desktop…)

Icons are almost as old as the Graphical User Interface, but recently, software developers have been all but hostile to shortcut icons. “Tile” is becoming the preferred term, coinciding with the growth of tablet interfaces like Apple’s iOS, Google’s Android, and Microsoft’s much-hated “Metro” interface. Many Linux environments (GNOME 3, xfce, and Unity) have eschewed icons altogether.

Connection (on it’s way to meaninglessness): In a wired world, a continuous closed circuit is required for any electromechanical device to function; therefore a “connection” requires physical contact between two or more points. This would make concepts like a ‘wireless connection’ oxymoronic, yet the word is used metaphorically.

Interestingly, the notion of a symbolic connection, as in an understanding between two individuals, is nothing new. As the world becomes increasingly wireless, the unseen-but-evidenced digital connection between our devices begins to mirror the way we, as individuals, “connect” with each other verbally, and emotionally.



After magnetic tape reels, virtually all computer storage was stored on disks. The advent of the hard disk drive made long-term internal storage viable; software began to move from floppy disks to CD-ROM; music moved from cassette tapes to CDs, movies went through VHS to DVDs. Now, whether it’s in a USB drive, flash memory on portable media player or smartphone, or a solid state drive, data storage is breaking free of the limits imposed by a spinning disk. This term won’t disappear from the language, but may well be seeing its last days in technology use.


The Shrek – Batman Connection

It says something about my blogging habits that I noticed, and subsequently took screen shots of this, two full years ago, and then promptly forgot about it, until “rediscovering” those screen shots now while looking for a different set of screen shots for a different blog topic I never wrote about.

Don’t laugh – this is how many major “discoveries” are made.

What I have re-reminded myself of is one of the most awesome literary/pop culture references, hidden in plain sight in a children’s movie. In Shrek 2, in the sequence leading up to the introduction of the franchise-stealing breakout character Puss in Boots, we have a brief shot of the King of Far, Far Away (voiced by John Cleese) sulking, facing the moon, holding a battle axe. The axe is kind of shoe-horned into the prior scene as a gag (it’s basically a Happy Meal Toy), and it seems pretty random for the character to end up with it. But, I think they needed the character to have it so they could do this shot:


…which immediately dissolves to this:


So the Batman reference is pretty obvious, but it doesn’t at all fit with the context of the prior scene, nor with any of the Shrek franchise’s pop culture references in general (namely, it’s not overtly funny). Also, this reference came at a time when Batman was pretty much dead – Joel Schumacher had killed the franchise seven years before and Batman Begins was still a year away.

The next scene doesn’t seem to justify the reference either, but oh, it does…

You see, in this scene, we meet Puss in Boots.


Who, in addition to being based off the fairy tale character of the same name, is an obvious Zorro parody:


Voiced by Antonio Banderas.

Who played Zorro.

And Batman is just a modern re-imagining of Zorro (You can read about that in a myriad of places online…).

What really drops my proverbial jaw here is that it’s easy to find references online to Puss in Boots as a Zorro parody, and I can find at least one reference to the “Batman dissolve,” but I can’t find anything where someone else has put them together.

So, you know… you’re welcome.

Side note: I tried to find similar connection in a Disney/Pixar film… all I got was this:

Found in Toy Story 2. Seriously. Google it.

Found in Toy Story 2. Seriously. Google it.

Start Me Up: My Windows vs. Linux Boot Showdown

Although I’ve set up dual-boot systems for other people before, I’d never made a Windows/Linux machine for my personal use before (that sentence probably has the potential for of a whole different post). The setup was relatively nightmare-free… but afterwards, I thought I might be dealing with the most embarrassing possible situation for a shameless Linux promoter: Windows seemed to be booting faster than Linux. Despair ensued.

“But wait,” I pondered to myself. “Psychology is a powerful thing. Windows 7 ‘shows’ you something almost immediately: the dancing Microsoft logo during startup, desktop icons show up waaaay before you can actually click on them, etc. Mint shows you a black screen during boot, and more black after you ether your password until the desktop is ready.”

The difference is subtle, but effective...

The difference is subtle, but effective…

Thankfully, stopwatches are not vulnerable to psychological ploys. The results speak for themselves:

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1 (fully patched, no anti-virus)

Boot menu to login 29.8s Range = 1.9s
Boot menu to responsive Desktop 69.8s


Range = 48.4s

Range = 3.4s

Shutdown 18.9s N/A

Linux Mint 13 x64 (Fully patched)

Boot menu to login 26.4s Range = 0.7s
Boot menu to responsive Desktop 36.6s Range = 0.3s
Shutdown 7.6s N/A


Hardly scientifically rigorous; I just booted both systems 3 times and averaged the results (I only timed the shutdowns once, though). Once, Windows 7 took nearly twice as long to become responsive; I ran the numbers with and without that trial (hence the red entry).

Determining “responsiveness” is a little tricky. But, faithful to real world conditions, I just tried to open the default web browser (Firefox 18) as soon as I saw the icon, and waited until it opened AND populated. It’s loading a cached start page in both cases, so these times were NOT reliant on my home network (but the computer is connecting to my wi-fi automatically: again, real-world conditions).


The boot-to-login screen differences are modest, but consistent (Linux is about 15% faster).

The login-to-desktop results, though, are more interesting. My second trial of Windows 7 hung for a full 40 seconds. I was tempted to open task manager to see what was causing the trouble, but that could have made the response time take even longer, thus “dirtying” the results. Even ignoring that result, Linux has more than a 30% advantage over Windows, and a much tighter range (within the range of human error, in fact).

Windows defenders have plenty they could say here: Windows 7 came out 2 years before Mint 13, Windows was not installed from a clean Microsoft image (I used HP’s recovery image and manually removed all the bloat ware), but that’s not really the point: regardless of what was actually happening, it looked like Windows 7 was starting faster. I’m sure that’s intentional: Microsoft almost certainly spent money and development time talking about startup animations, sounds, load order, blah blah blah, all to create the perception of the best software they could sell.

Meanwhile, Linus Torvalds, and the folks at the GNU Project, RedHat, Canonical, the Document Foundation, Mozilla, the Linux Mint Team, and countless others just went out and made it. And I thank them.

In review: The Music of 2012 (part 2)

…continued from yesterday’s post:

Best Metal Album: Testament – The Dark Roots of Earth

album art

Simultaneous winner of the “pleasant surprise of the year” award, this one snuck up on me. I was thoroughly pleased with 2009’s Formation of Damnation, but I really didn’t expect a comparable follow-up. Like prog, something magical is happening right now in the world of metal, where after a 15 year or so hiatus, the classic bands are artistically relevant again. Unlike prog, there are far fewer “new” bands poised to take over, so I’m not sure how long this can be sustained, but I’ll be thankful for whatever we get. I can’t help but feel like I’m enjoying this album for the wrong reasons, but the shout-along chorus of the opening track “When I say rise up, you say war!” is the perfect blend of awesome and cheesy… like an 80’s action movie (same goes for “True American Hate”). As always, Alex Skolnick’s lead guitars are awe-inspiring, and Chuck Billy’s thrashy shouts and near-death growls are admirable.

Despite my urge to make fun of their lyrics, “Native Blood” is inspiring. It also, notably, was awarded “Best Music Video of the Year” at the Native American Film Festival. Not sure how much competition it had, but then again, the portrayal non-violent confrontation is really something I think all Americans need right now [end of sentimental comments].

Testament also gets bonus points for “Cold Embrace,” as their first catchy ballad since “Return to Serenity”… twenty years ago.

This is also the second appearance of drummer Gene Hoglan on this list. The man is an unfailing ace in the hole for making sure your album is worthwhile. Not only is he on the previously reviewed Epicloud (and other Towsend albums), but he played on Death’s Individual Thought Patterns, aka the most influential death metal album ever… Dark Angel’s well-reviewed but impossible to find pair Darkness Descends and Time Does Not Heal, and provided drums for the fictionally-famous Dethklok.

[More prog]

Anathema Weather Systems

album artwork

I’m not sure if the album was meant to be taken this way, but to me, Weather Systems combines the best qualities of the electronic music I listened to in volumes ten years ago, and the ultra-technical prog that dominates my playlists now. I feel especially fortunate to have been shown this album by a friend, because before spring of 2012 I’d never even heard of Anathema. The melodies are so moving that I don’t even care that it’s all in common time and mid-tempo. Plus, when it’s done right, there’s just something so good about an acoustic guitar and a synthesizer playing together. The music straddles the lines between several genres… I could describe parts of it as ambient, chillout, electronica, metal, post-metal, neo-prog, new-prog, and symphonic prog. And I probably missed a few.

The shared vocals between the brothers’ Cavanagh and Lee Douglas are haunting, and stand out as essential to the music in a genre where vocals are frequently treated as an afterthought. Similar to Townsend’s work, some parts of this album get really dense, but its used as an exception rather than a rule, and the songs, while not especially lengthy, are long enough to ease into it. This technique is possibly a relic of Anathema’s origins as a doom metal band.

The highpoint of the album is the nine-minute “The Storm Before the Calm.” It builds tension during the first half (The Storm: “It’s getting colder…”) venturing the furthest into the electronic territory. A fade-out halfway through tricks you into thinking it won’t be resolved, but it lives up to its title. “It ebbs and flows and comes and goes / it eats you up and lets you go.” After sitting out most of the song, Lee Douglas joins adding a beautiful alto line to the final set of lyrics (“Am I still here?”. Notably, while guitarist/vocalist Daniel Cavanagh principally composed the whole album, this piece of melodic genius was written by… the drummer!

Neal Morse – Momentum

album art

A solo studio album, a super-group, a cover album, and a live album: rest assured Neal will release at least two of them every year. This year, he managed three.

With Momentum, Neal managed his first worthwhile non-concept album. I found last two albums to be a bit disappointing (including his first try at a song-driven album, 2008’s Lifeline), and on learning that he was basically recording this in a rush after plans of a new Transatlantic album fell apart [excuse me while I scream into a pillow], I was braced for more of the same. I was relieved. The music is bright, varied, and as always with Neal, catchy (esp. the title track, “Weathering Sky” and “Freak”). The Christian themes are right where I expected them, but the lyrics have gotten much less praise and worship-y. To steal from a friend, Morse writes incredible melodies with a similar ease and frequency to a bodily function, and it’s nice to know that he can occasionally realize the in a five minute song.

That all being said, about 55% of the album is dominated by the final track, “World Without End.” He’s done better, but there’s plenty to be desired here.

As an added bonus, Randy George’s bass seems to play a more significant role here than in the past (including taking a lead part in the main riff to “Weathering Sky”). Mike Portnoy’s drumming is exactly what it should be. Also, it’s the first worthwhile post-Dream Theater recording Mike Portnoy has appeared on, after the disappointing Flying Colors and artistically-null Omertà.

Honorable Mentions:

Rush – Clockwork Angels; Coheed & Cambria – The Afterman: Ascension; Ian Anderson – Thick As a Brick 2

Best Live Album: Porcupine Tree – Octane Twisted

With this album, Porcupine Tree joins Dream Theater, Opeth, Transatlantic, Marillion, and Rush in an official live release containing the performance of an entire album. This time, it’s 2009’s The Incident, and arguably, it’s better than the studio release. Something about the intricacies of prog sort of demands a live performance of anything that sounds daring on a recording, as kind of a “proof” of musicianship. Let’s just say, Steven Wilson and so come through. The second half of the concert is none too shabby either: in addition to containing most of the second-disc songs from The Incident, it’s got a significant portion of “Anesthetize” and an always-welcome new rendition of “Arriving Somewhere.”

Best Re-release/ Re-Master:

Thick as a Brick, 40th Anniversary edition, with multiple mixes by singer/songwriter/guitarist/engineer/producer/genius/skinny person Steven Wilson.

Biggest Let-downs:

In addition to Flying Colors and Omertà (sorry, Mike Portnoy)… Storm Corrosion. That’s all I’m saying.

Best Christmas Album

I can’t believe I even get to make this a category, but I’ve got to recognize… A Proggy Christmas by the “Prog World Orchestra,” aka Transatlantic in all but name. I’ll never be able to hear “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” again without mentally putting Neal Morse’s voice to it. It’s great to hear musically-intricate takes on Christmas standards… but it makes it all the more frustrating that Transatlantic couldn’t produce an album this year. Let’s have a toast to 2013…

In review: The Music of 2012 (part 1)

2012 was an incredible year for music. It was also a weird year for prog. We got over a dozen good, nay, great! prog albums this year , yet oddly, out of what I consider to be the “Big 4” of currently-active prog bands (Dream Theater, Porcupine Tree, Opeth, Marillion), only one released a studio album this year. However, key members (or former members) of all those bands appeared on something this year. As for the band that did release an album:

Best Album: Marillion – Sounds That Can’t Be Made


For the 5 Marillion fans who haven’t heard this yet (actually, that number may be a little high), this album is the perfect blend of the best elements of Marbles, Afraid of Sunlight, and This Strange Engine. Its production and epic scope make this Marbles‘ long-awaited worthy successor, but it lacks some of that album’s most processed-sounding effects (especially on the percussion). It’s also very much a song-driven record, and each piece is completely unique. Even the weaker tracks (“Montreal,” “Invisible Ink”) have enough charm to make a cynic smile.

The band got significant mileage out of “Power” and “Lucky Man” on their 2012 tour, and the official recordings don’t disappoint. “Power” especially lives up to its name every time the chorus comes around. A personal favorite is the under-publicized title track: whenever Steve H sings “…silent and high,” I have an irrepressible urge to close my eyes and lift my hands in prog-praise. And that’s nothing compared to what happens when H. starts singing about the aurora borealis. Rothery’s guitar tone and Kelley’s keyboards find that difficult balance between electronic and organic that perfectly complement the song’s imagery of impossible sounds and beholding nature from space. One last direct Marbles comparison: I can’t help but see “The Sky Above the Rain” as a “ten years later” follow-up to “Neverland,” and H.’s real-life struggles that inspired it. Appropriately, I feel like I age ten years every time I hear it, but no Marillion piece is without a glimmer of optimism.

The seventeen-minute opener, “Gaza” has gotten Marillion more publicity alone than most albums… to the point of dis-servicing both the song and the whole album. Musically, it’s one of the heaviest things they’ve ever done, up there with “Ocean Cloud” and “This Strange Engine.” Its lyrics, focusing on the civilian population of the Gaza strip, include passages inspired (or maybe directly quoted) from real Skype conversations H. had with Gaza residents. Almost all of the press addressing this song refers to it as “political” and “controversial.” I find that almost insulting… take a look at the actual lyrics:

We all want peace and freedom that’s for sure

But peace won’t come from standing on our necks

Everyone deserves a chance to feel the future just might be bright

But any way you look at this – whichever point of view

For us to have to live like this

It just ain’t right

Apparently, reminding the first world of the humanity of civilians caught in a warzone is now a controversial position. Good job, Marillion.

One last factoid to mention: the DVD documentary accompanying the deluxe edition of the album contains stills from the 2012 North American tour. My friend and I are clearly visible in one of the pictures. That has precisely nothing to do with this album’s position on my list.

Runner-up: Devin Townsend Project Epicloud

One shouldn’t judge a book (or album) by its cover… but in the case of Epicloud, I think it’s safe to say it sounds exactly like its artwork implies:
album artwork
The key descriptor here is manic!… it’s fifty minutes of loud, dense, heavy, quirky post-metal. This album is even more exciting considering the context of Devin Townsend’s career: he dissolved the band that made him famous, released several artistic, but oppressively-dark albums, went two years without recording anything at all, and then documented his recovery from substance addiction over a four-album series. This marks his first aconceptual post-recovery solo album, and he’s rocking out like a man reborn.

A constant of all of Townsend’s music (that I’ve heard so far) is its density: there is not a beat of silence anywhere. Sometimes it approaches ridiculous: multiple keyboards with theoretically infinite sustain, brass cymbals ringing out, distorted guitars playing loud, simple chords, and heavily-reverbed vocals all going at once. Even on the slow songs. And I love it.

What’s really impressive is how many of the layered vocals are provided by Townsend… he hired a session choir for the album, but on same songs (like “Animals” and “Save Our Now”), he turns himself into a choir, and doesn’t appear to have ever met a studio effect he didn’t like. He heaps on enough tracks and effects to cover for the fact that he’s a much better musician than a singer. Come to think of it… he’s pretty much prog’s equivalent of Andrew W.K.

And, proving that Townsend is a song-writing machine, the deluxe edition of the album includes a “bonus disc” that is basically a second album. Not as conceptually tight as the album proper… but it’s also only a dollar more. In the meantime, Nightwish charges almost double to include an instrumental mix of their albums… some people.

Best Independent Release: Sean Filkins–War and Peace & Other Short Stories

album artwork

This is my obligatory promotion of a very under-the-radar artist. I’m shocked and saddened at how little attention so many of these great artists are getting. Amazon currently only has two copies of the CD (but it’s $9 to download… that’s about $.07/minute).

This is a beautiful “classic” prog album. The album features the especially-impressive half-hour “Prisoner of Conscience” suite, right in the middle (unusual placement for such a piece, but no complaints). All composition, singing, and principle instruments are performed by Filkins himself. The overall sound is perfectly modern, but the style is a worthy continuation of the type of music Yes and Genesis released in the seventies, but is in no way derivative. (I could just as easily apply that last sentence to early Spock’s Beard, IQ, Citizen Cain, Glass Hammer, and Also Eden… it is seriously mind boggling at how much great prog there is right now).

Bonus — The Spock’s Beard/Big Big Train connection: Neal Morse is the former front man of Spock’s Beard who left the band to pursue a solo prog career. He plays all principle instruments on his albums. Sean Filkins is the former frontman of the British progressive rock band Big Big Train. Filkins left BBT, and was replaced by Neal Morse’s replacement, Nick D’Virgillio. This, Filkins’ debut album, features, among other guest musicians, current Spock’s Beard bassist Dave Meros. It’s simple really.

Continued in part 2…
Testament; Anathema; Neal Morse, and more!

Address to the Masses: A Tech Support Rant

Caution: Some PG-13 language. View in fullscreen at 720p or higher for best results.

Learn more:

[This presentation was made with the help of free and open source software]

Sauce: A Review by a Culinary Philistine

I may have a primitive understanding of the concept of “artisan pizza,” but unless Sauce was in fact founded by hipsters looking to name their establishment ironically, I’m perplexed. It may say “Sauce” on the sign, but I saw not a drop of it featured in our meal. More on that in a moment.

The North-Phoenix location which I visited during lunch hours was was clean, the atmosphere was genuinely inviting, the staff friendly. I tried my first bruschetta here, and according to the online recipe I referenced while my wife was in the restroom, they did a good job; it was prepared to textbook specifications. Not the most pragmatic of appetizers, though: lacking a bonding agent to make the cubed mozzarella adhere to the shingle on which it is served, each bite ensures a quick burst of falling debris.

The selection in their wine bar (the presence of which completes the double entendre of the chain restaurant’s name) is ample and varied, though I personally chose to go with a glass of the 2012 lemon-lime.

Regarding the main course:

Perhaps I’ve grown to have scewed expectations of pizza due to a lifetime’s exposure to the type of pizza usually served by a suited mascot. Nonetheless, when I think of “pizza crust,” words like “crunch,” “shard,” and “air pocket” do not come to mind. I do appreciate the authenticity added by the woodfire grill, but it has its drawbacks. In place of the thin layer of flour typically coating the bottom of a pizza for non-stick purposes, this preparation method tends to leave traces of charcoal-like deposits on the bottom of each slice. Due to this, an absent-minded scratch of an errant itch below the eye left my wife looking like Ke$ha. And, again, there was no sauce!

It looks like the restaurant is making the food it intends to make, so, if you’re into this sort of thing, it’s great. I’d be more than willing to join friends there in the future, but I don’t see myself actively seeking it out anytime soon.